Laura Lawless Interview
Miss Arizona 2002 + top 15 @ Miss America 2003
Why did you decide to compete in the Miss Maricopa pageant?
In 2002, I relocated from my hometown, New York City, to Arizona to attend law school. I found myself in a new city, living alone, without a community or circle of nearby friends. Although I was on the fence about competing during law school, and felt that my competition years were behind me, during that first year in Arizona, I kept thinking to myself how competing in the Miss America program for the three prior years had been such a rich and rewarding experience. The scholarships I had earned as a contestant and local titleholder helped to pay my tuition at Harvard University and at the Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law at Arizona State University. I tentatively decided to attend a few local pageants in Arizona, and I quickly saw how special the Arizona state program was. I was genuinely touched by how sincerely the local directors and state staff cared for the contestants. I became good friends with a number of contestants, and by January 2002, I felt like I wanted to be a part of that community. More than ten years later, I am still very proud to be a part of the Miss Arizona Organization family.
Tell us about your platform, "Mental Health Matters: Encouraging Awareness, Advocacy, and Action".
My platform is very personal. As a young child, I always felt a bit off, like something wasn’t quite right. I was anxious, painfully shy, withdrawn, and deeply depressed. This continued through my teen years, and at 17 years old, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. There are very few role models for young people with mental illnesses, and a persistent stigma surrounds the subject of mental illness. This silence makes it very difficult for young people in particular to understand that their feelings are symptoms of an illness - a treatable illness - and not something that should cause them shame. Indeed, many people lack a fundamental understanding of the causes and symptoms of mental illnesses, like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder, and fewer still understand how to ask for help and obtain treatment for these conditions. With medical advances, however, mental illness is, for many, a chronic but treatable condition. With patience, support, and a dogged belief in recovery, many people with serious mental illnesses lead fulfilling, joyful, joy-filled lives.
As Miss Arizona, I spoke to a variety of audiences about my experience, my story, and my recovery. It has not been a linear recovery, to be sure. I have had my share of setbacks and disappointments, but they have been great teachable moments, and ones I have drawn on in my presentations. I strived to do two things in my presentations. The first was to be completely, brutally, painfully, embarrassingly, humbly honest. Mental illness is hard, it can be ugly, it can be expensive, it can be exhausting, it can be discouraging, and it can take a tremendous toll on friends and loved ones. I never tried to sugarcoat my experience, or minimize the suffering others experienced. I wanted to be completely real, especially when speaking to young people, who can smell dishonesty a mile away. I respect them too much to tell them anything but the truth, in an age-appropriate manner, and to expect that they will accept the message with an open mind. And they did, almost without fail.
My second objective was to put a human face on mental illness. Even the term “mental illness” sounds clinical and scary, but one in four people will experience a mental illness in his or her lifetime. Mental health awareness has to be made real and accessible. I enjoyed juxtaposing mental illness and a pageant crown: one image so dark, with one that symbolizes beauty and poise. Giving audiences the chance to see that both can exist in one package went a long way toward dispelling the myths and stereotypes of mental illness.
What was going through your head when you were called into the top 15 at Miss America?
I kept repeating to myself, “DON’T FALL!” I had zero, and I mean ZERO, expectation of placing in the Top 15 at Miss America. I never had any delusion that I was finalist-material. I wanted to be a good Miss Arizona, and I was thrilled to experience the Miss America pageant. I was called 14th in the line-up, and by that point, I wasn’t even paying much attention. One of the contestants had to turn to tell me to walk forward when my state was called. I didn’t notice at the time (I was too busy telling myself not to fall down), but the host, Wayne Brady, commented when I came running forward that I had done the “happy dance.” My family still teases me about that whenever I get excited! In the few seconds before the commercial break, as I held hands with the top 15 semi-finalists, I looked out and saw my state directors, volunteers, friends, and family members who had flown from across the country to support me and I was just overcome with gratitude for their sacrifices and unflappable support of me. It is truly a tremendous honor, and for a few moments, I truly felt like their Miss America. It was wondrous!
What would be your most memorable moment as Miss Arizona?
There are so many moments that changed my life, but a particularly poignant one occurred after a series of presentations at a middle school in Tucson, Arizona. Throughout the year, I worked with a number of school districts to deliver presentations to 5th-9th grade students on topics such as depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, and suicide prevention, subjects that tragically affect a significant number of teens. These are sensitive topics, and they often provoked challenging, thoughtful discussions among the students. I was so pleasantly surprised to see the seriousness and maturity that these young men and women brought to the discussion of difficult subjects. (If only our policymakers were as informed and concerned… but I digress...)
After two days at a school in Tucson, Arizona, six presentations each day, I received a huge box of thank you notes prepared by every student that had attended the presentations. I cherished each one. Some were polite but short, others shared painful details of mental health challenges they had personally experienced, or that their friends had survived. Toward the end, I came to an unsigned letter written by a young woman who shared that she had carefully planned her suicide, written her goodbye note, and arranged her belongings. She had planned her suicide to the hour, which was to be the weekend following the presentation at her school. After hearing about treatment options for depression, she learned that her big, overwhelming feelings were a symptom of a real illness, and that she could be helped. She decided to speak to her guidance counselor about getting help, and had decided not to go through with her suicide plans. To this day, I wonder how that young lady is doing, and what wonderful gifts she has given the world by choosing to remain a part of it.
Tell us about the work you did for the "National Alliance on Mental Illness" (NAMI) and "National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression" (NARSAD).
Working with NAMI was one of the highlights of my year. NAMI is an organization that promotes advocacy for people with mental illness and support for their families. NAMI offers support groups, community-based education, and intervention, and works with law enforcement, juvenile and adult probation systems, and religious and civic organizations to improve the quality of life for people with mental illness. I spoke to many NAMI family groups nationwide, hoping to offer inspiration and support. I worked with their legislative affairs division to address lawmakers about resources for the mentally ill and their caretakers. Throughout the year, and very often since then, I served as a keynote speaker at NAMI fundraisers where hundreds of thousands of dollars were raised for community services, and I have participated year after year in their annual Walk for Mental Health Awareness.
NARSAD focuses on funding research for innovative treatments for mental illness. Perhaps because the mentally ill have been marginalized for so long, perhaps because of the stigma around mental illness, or simply because many mentally ill are uninsured and therefore not candidates for expensive, cutting-edge therapies, mental health research has not been well-funded throughout the years. NARSAD raises grant money for bright scientists who have chosen to use their talents to research and develop biochemical, psychotherapeutic, and community-based intervention strategies to reduce suffering and improve the quality of life among the mentally ill. In addition to a number of visible features in the mainstream media which NARSAD coordinated, including a feature article in People Magazine and a spot on CNN’s American Morning with Paula Zahn, I recorded a series of public service announcements for television and radio, informing listeners about NARSAD, and also about where to seek additional information if they or a loved one suffered from symptoms of mental illness. The PSAs ran in nationwide markets and reached tens of millions of viewers/listeners, and dramatically increased calls to local referral agencies.
What emotions were you going through when you passed on your title as Miss Arizona?
I think if you do your year right, you’re ready to pass on your title at the end. Likewise, if you compete for the right reason - to advance your cause, to earn scholarships, and to grow as a person - one year is plenty. After twelve months of hard work, I felt secure knowing that I had left everything I had on the field. In fact, with the exception of Christmas Day and Easter, I had filled every calendar day of the year with work to promote mental health.
And I knew my work with mental health awareness was not over. The day after the pageant, I flew to Minneapolis, MN to receive the Purdy Award, a recognition from NAMI given to a public figure who has fought over the prior year to fight discrimination against the mentally ill. There were so many better candidates; I’m still humbled years later to have been recognized by the people who are my heroes. In the years since, I have spoken to tens of thousands of people at public appearances, petitioned legislatures for increased services for the mentally ill and their caregivers, and have served on the boards of a half-dozen state and national organizations devoted to mental health research and the care, treatment, and employment of people with mental health needs.
As I crowned my successor, I also knew that the volunteers in the Miss Arizona Organization were going to be a part of my life forever, so it was not a goodbye, but simply a new chapter in my life. Each year that passes, I come to appreciate a little more how much work goes into running a successful state pageant. Putting on a production is hard enough, but each day is filled with sacrifice and service by countless volunteers. As I struggle to balance work and a family and community service, I grow in awareness about how much went into making 2002-2003 such a memorable year for me, and my gratitude grows exponentially.
Lastly, what have you been up to since your reign as Miss Arizona ended?
My year of service was 10 years ago, so I’ll spare you the gritty details of the last decade! In 2005, I graduatedmagna cum laude from the Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law at Arizona State University. I have been an attorney at Greenberg Traurig, LLP ever since, specializing in employment and labor law. I’m very involved in the legal community, serving as a member of the Arizona Bar Leadership Institute and on the Board of Directors for the Maricopa County Bar Association Labor and Employment Section. I’m also active in the Harvard Club of Phoenix, serving on the Board of that organization and as an interviewer for admissions candidates to my undergraduate alma mater.
I have continued to work in the mental health field, serving on the Boards of Directors for the Institute for Mental Health Research, the National Mental Health Association (NMHA) - Arizona chapter, HOPE, Inc., Recovery Innovations, Inc. (2002-present), and the Arizona Foundation for Behavioral Health, and as a featured speaker for All-American Speakers Bureau, Celebrity Lecture Agency, and Speakers on Healthcare. I also aid with NAMI and NMHA fundraising activities whenever possible.
In 2007, I married my best friend, and in 2008, we welcomed our daughter, Emma. Emma is the light of my life, the greatest blessing I have ever known, and, objectively speaking, the most beautiful child ever born. At nearly four years old, she is also far smarter than I could ever hope to be, so she keeps me on my toes. Who knows? Maybe she’ll be Miss Arizona one day!
In 2002, I relocated from my hometown, New York City, to Arizona to attend law school. I found myself in a new city, living alone, without a community or circle of nearby friends. Although I was on the fence about competing during law school, and felt that my competition years were behind me, during that first year in Arizona, I kept thinking to myself how competing in the Miss America program for the three prior years had been such a rich and rewarding experience. The scholarships I had earned as a contestant and local titleholder helped to pay my tuition at Harvard University and at the Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law at Arizona State University. I tentatively decided to attend a few local pageants in Arizona, and I quickly saw how special the Arizona state program was. I was genuinely touched by how sincerely the local directors and state staff cared for the contestants. I became good friends with a number of contestants, and by January 2002, I felt like I wanted to be a part of that community. More than ten years later, I am still very proud to be a part of the Miss Arizona Organization family.
Tell us about your platform, "Mental Health Matters: Encouraging Awareness, Advocacy, and Action".
My platform is very personal. As a young child, I always felt a bit off, like something wasn’t quite right. I was anxious, painfully shy, withdrawn, and deeply depressed. This continued through my teen years, and at 17 years old, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. There are very few role models for young people with mental illnesses, and a persistent stigma surrounds the subject of mental illness. This silence makes it very difficult for young people in particular to understand that their feelings are symptoms of an illness - a treatable illness - and not something that should cause them shame. Indeed, many people lack a fundamental understanding of the causes and symptoms of mental illnesses, like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder, and fewer still understand how to ask for help and obtain treatment for these conditions. With medical advances, however, mental illness is, for many, a chronic but treatable condition. With patience, support, and a dogged belief in recovery, many people with serious mental illnesses lead fulfilling, joyful, joy-filled lives.
As Miss Arizona, I spoke to a variety of audiences about my experience, my story, and my recovery. It has not been a linear recovery, to be sure. I have had my share of setbacks and disappointments, but they have been great teachable moments, and ones I have drawn on in my presentations. I strived to do two things in my presentations. The first was to be completely, brutally, painfully, embarrassingly, humbly honest. Mental illness is hard, it can be ugly, it can be expensive, it can be exhausting, it can be discouraging, and it can take a tremendous toll on friends and loved ones. I never tried to sugarcoat my experience, or minimize the suffering others experienced. I wanted to be completely real, especially when speaking to young people, who can smell dishonesty a mile away. I respect them too much to tell them anything but the truth, in an age-appropriate manner, and to expect that they will accept the message with an open mind. And they did, almost without fail.
My second objective was to put a human face on mental illness. Even the term “mental illness” sounds clinical and scary, but one in four people will experience a mental illness in his or her lifetime. Mental health awareness has to be made real and accessible. I enjoyed juxtaposing mental illness and a pageant crown: one image so dark, with one that symbolizes beauty and poise. Giving audiences the chance to see that both can exist in one package went a long way toward dispelling the myths and stereotypes of mental illness.
What was going through your head when you were called into the top 15 at Miss America?
I kept repeating to myself, “DON’T FALL!” I had zero, and I mean ZERO, expectation of placing in the Top 15 at Miss America. I never had any delusion that I was finalist-material. I wanted to be a good Miss Arizona, and I was thrilled to experience the Miss America pageant. I was called 14th in the line-up, and by that point, I wasn’t even paying much attention. One of the contestants had to turn to tell me to walk forward when my state was called. I didn’t notice at the time (I was too busy telling myself not to fall down), but the host, Wayne Brady, commented when I came running forward that I had done the “happy dance.” My family still teases me about that whenever I get excited! In the few seconds before the commercial break, as I held hands with the top 15 semi-finalists, I looked out and saw my state directors, volunteers, friends, and family members who had flown from across the country to support me and I was just overcome with gratitude for their sacrifices and unflappable support of me. It is truly a tremendous honor, and for a few moments, I truly felt like their Miss America. It was wondrous!
What would be your most memorable moment as Miss Arizona?
There are so many moments that changed my life, but a particularly poignant one occurred after a series of presentations at a middle school in Tucson, Arizona. Throughout the year, I worked with a number of school districts to deliver presentations to 5th-9th grade students on topics such as depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, and suicide prevention, subjects that tragically affect a significant number of teens. These are sensitive topics, and they often provoked challenging, thoughtful discussions among the students. I was so pleasantly surprised to see the seriousness and maturity that these young men and women brought to the discussion of difficult subjects. (If only our policymakers were as informed and concerned… but I digress...)
After two days at a school in Tucson, Arizona, six presentations each day, I received a huge box of thank you notes prepared by every student that had attended the presentations. I cherished each one. Some were polite but short, others shared painful details of mental health challenges they had personally experienced, or that their friends had survived. Toward the end, I came to an unsigned letter written by a young woman who shared that she had carefully planned her suicide, written her goodbye note, and arranged her belongings. She had planned her suicide to the hour, which was to be the weekend following the presentation at her school. After hearing about treatment options for depression, she learned that her big, overwhelming feelings were a symptom of a real illness, and that she could be helped. She decided to speak to her guidance counselor about getting help, and had decided not to go through with her suicide plans. To this day, I wonder how that young lady is doing, and what wonderful gifts she has given the world by choosing to remain a part of it.
Tell us about the work you did for the "National Alliance on Mental Illness" (NAMI) and "National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression" (NARSAD).
Working with NAMI was one of the highlights of my year. NAMI is an organization that promotes advocacy for people with mental illness and support for their families. NAMI offers support groups, community-based education, and intervention, and works with law enforcement, juvenile and adult probation systems, and religious and civic organizations to improve the quality of life for people with mental illness. I spoke to many NAMI family groups nationwide, hoping to offer inspiration and support. I worked with their legislative affairs division to address lawmakers about resources for the mentally ill and their caretakers. Throughout the year, and very often since then, I served as a keynote speaker at NAMI fundraisers where hundreds of thousands of dollars were raised for community services, and I have participated year after year in their annual Walk for Mental Health Awareness.
NARSAD focuses on funding research for innovative treatments for mental illness. Perhaps because the mentally ill have been marginalized for so long, perhaps because of the stigma around mental illness, or simply because many mentally ill are uninsured and therefore not candidates for expensive, cutting-edge therapies, mental health research has not been well-funded throughout the years. NARSAD raises grant money for bright scientists who have chosen to use their talents to research and develop biochemical, psychotherapeutic, and community-based intervention strategies to reduce suffering and improve the quality of life among the mentally ill. In addition to a number of visible features in the mainstream media which NARSAD coordinated, including a feature article in People Magazine and a spot on CNN’s American Morning with Paula Zahn, I recorded a series of public service announcements for television and radio, informing listeners about NARSAD, and also about where to seek additional information if they or a loved one suffered from symptoms of mental illness. The PSAs ran in nationwide markets and reached tens of millions of viewers/listeners, and dramatically increased calls to local referral agencies.
What emotions were you going through when you passed on your title as Miss Arizona?
I think if you do your year right, you’re ready to pass on your title at the end. Likewise, if you compete for the right reason - to advance your cause, to earn scholarships, and to grow as a person - one year is plenty. After twelve months of hard work, I felt secure knowing that I had left everything I had on the field. In fact, with the exception of Christmas Day and Easter, I had filled every calendar day of the year with work to promote mental health.
And I knew my work with mental health awareness was not over. The day after the pageant, I flew to Minneapolis, MN to receive the Purdy Award, a recognition from NAMI given to a public figure who has fought over the prior year to fight discrimination against the mentally ill. There were so many better candidates; I’m still humbled years later to have been recognized by the people who are my heroes. In the years since, I have spoken to tens of thousands of people at public appearances, petitioned legislatures for increased services for the mentally ill and their caregivers, and have served on the boards of a half-dozen state and national organizations devoted to mental health research and the care, treatment, and employment of people with mental health needs.
As I crowned my successor, I also knew that the volunteers in the Miss Arizona Organization were going to be a part of my life forever, so it was not a goodbye, but simply a new chapter in my life. Each year that passes, I come to appreciate a little more how much work goes into running a successful state pageant. Putting on a production is hard enough, but each day is filled with sacrifice and service by countless volunteers. As I struggle to balance work and a family and community service, I grow in awareness about how much went into making 2002-2003 such a memorable year for me, and my gratitude grows exponentially.
Lastly, what have you been up to since your reign as Miss Arizona ended?
My year of service was 10 years ago, so I’ll spare you the gritty details of the last decade! In 2005, I graduatedmagna cum laude from the Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law at Arizona State University. I have been an attorney at Greenberg Traurig, LLP ever since, specializing in employment and labor law. I’m very involved in the legal community, serving as a member of the Arizona Bar Leadership Institute and on the Board of Directors for the Maricopa County Bar Association Labor and Employment Section. I’m also active in the Harvard Club of Phoenix, serving on the Board of that organization and as an interviewer for admissions candidates to my undergraduate alma mater.
I have continued to work in the mental health field, serving on the Boards of Directors for the Institute for Mental Health Research, the National Mental Health Association (NMHA) - Arizona chapter, HOPE, Inc., Recovery Innovations, Inc. (2002-present), and the Arizona Foundation for Behavioral Health, and as a featured speaker for All-American Speakers Bureau, Celebrity Lecture Agency, and Speakers on Healthcare. I also aid with NAMI and NMHA fundraising activities whenever possible.
In 2007, I married my best friend, and in 2008, we welcomed our daughter, Emma. Emma is the light of my life, the greatest blessing I have ever known, and, objectively speaking, the most beautiful child ever born. At nearly four years old, she is also far smarter than I could ever hope to be, so she keeps me on my toes. Who knows? Maybe she’ll be Miss Arizona one day!